Naija Review Blog: KEEPING MY MAN - 7 Reasons It Sucked

Cast – Ramsey Nouah, Monalisa Chinda, Rukky Sanda, Ini Edo, Alex Ekubo,  Karen Igho, Kenneth Okoli

Director and  Producer – Rukky sanda 

Story - KEEPING MY MAN is about three married couples with marital problems. Maya (Ini Edo) didn’t think there was enough spark in her marriage but her husband Alex found her desires amusing and her nags irritating. Tamar (Monalisa Chinda) starves her husband of sex because she wants to maintain her physique. Zion (rukky Sanda) and Tokunbo (Ramsey Nouah) seem perfect until the bubble bursts and reveals that Tokunbo is cheating.

The Plot – The story line had good prospects, up until the story teller (Rukky) lost it and blew her climax away. The sudden transformation of her characters was unexplained; it was so obvious she was in a hurry to write ‘the end’ that she forgot to make it real.

The Make-Up and Costume – Whenever there was a scene with Ini Edo’s tangled hair that needed real brushing or Mona Lisa’s scary make-up, I wondered if I was watching a reality show for hair and make-up artists or indeed a movie. And who the hell chose those bland dresses for Ini-Edo? 

  
The Production – I’m sorry but if you’re going to spend so much in making a movie, is it too much to check that the microphones are properly placed?

The Acting – I’m not going to say anything bad about the actor’s performances when there’s a good explanation – they were bored! Rukky must have held a gun to their heads and forced them to be in the movie. And please Alex, try to keep from glancing at the camera next time. Yes, you were shooting a movie. No, you didn't have to keep glancing at the camera to confirm.

The Actors' lines – Someone definitely skipped their English classes back in secondary school; the script writer or the actors. The lines were so mixed up I wondered if it was intended for comic. In one of the scenes, Ramsey Nouah must have been trying out his wanna-be-American accent because the lines were so unnecessary and annoying!

The Settings – the settings were not bad. I give it a yes. Except for one scene though where they had the ladies cramped in a sofa. They looked like ladies waiting to see the school principal.

The End – I can’t believe they spent so many resources to annoy rather than to entertain. You CAN end movies without a definite conclusion but you SHOULD end it with a satisfaction. They should have had Rukky leave a letter to at least give us a satisfaction of knowing what she plans. She wants to clear her head and might or might not come back? Something other than ending the movie in the middle of the end.

I spent a chunk of my precious time watching KEEPING MY MAN, time that I would have spent reading the last pages of a novel that has taken me one month to finish (Oh no I’m not a slow reader,  blame the system that gave us only twenty-four hours in a day). Anyway, I walked out of the cinema cursing and swearing and almost yanked the cashier lady behind the counter by the shirt to shake my money out of her. However, I noticed her broad shoulders and being that I’m not suicidal, changed my mind and walked away sulking.

If you haven't seen the movie, you should see it so you can confirm my points. As for those of you who have, do you think I missed anything? I'd like to read your views.